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Parenting Reality... Anger Resources

In the world before I had children and when they were toddlers, I always thought of raising children in terms of rainbows and flowers. What did mother's complain about? Parenting was easy! Enter the world of raising preschoolers and beyond.

I started this not very updated blog a few years ago when parenting was a whole lot easier. Since that time, we have added another child and my other two have grown into two spirited and spunky children. No longer am I spending my time creating fun activities and blissfully living in the perfect world. Now I am just trying to survive. My goal is still to create those special, fun times...the theme dinners, crafts, etc. However, I am much more realistic in knowing I can't do it all and those time may not be as often as I like.

Much of my time, sans children, is reading books and researching the different challenges we face in parenting. In fact, this morning I recommended a few resources I have used to a friend of mine. It occurred to me I should blog about it! I hope a few of these resources may help you!

One of my children is very demanding and quickly goes from happy to extremely angry in less than a second. It's like a little Jekyll and Hyde. It's very frustrating, emotional, and exhausting as a mother (and father.) For the past two years I have tried a lot of techniques which we have found and are finding to work. It takes a lot of time and dedication to work with anger but well worth it in when you see the happier child emerging more than the angry child. I know each child is different and anger can present itself in difference in severity and form.

For us the following techniques has worked:

  • When I first started seeing the anger in my child. I had inspiration to create a Choose the Right poster with a superhero. Every time I saw my child "Choose the Right" we wrote it down. It helped us to focus on the positive instead of the negative.
  • TV: I have found TV can really set off my child. Non PBS and non- documentary shows sets off my child. We really limit access to TV and IPAD/phone.
  • Spending around 10 minutes a day solely with my child helps him know he is special and we love him. This one-on-one time makes a drastic change in behavior for both my older children!

  • I also have found structure and routine is key in helping with anger. Enter summer and us being away on vacation for over a month= craziness and anger! :) 

  • Quiet area. We have set up an area where our child can go and cool down. It's not a time out but a safe place he can work on calming his feelings. We have done away with time outs, because frankly, they DO NOT work for us and I want my children to know it's okay to feel angry, we just need to work on how to be angry.

  • As a parent stay calm and cool... SO MUCH EASIER SAID THAN DONE! There have been many moments I am not proud of but I apologize and we continue to carry on!

Books and Websites

         Easy read and fantastic techniques and additional resources

         INCREDIBLE book! Fantastic just for parenting ideas. They are completely contrary to what I first thought when I was parenting. My husband and I firmly believe in these parenting techniques.

         I just started reading this. I'll post an update.

          This book helped me to understand my child so much better! It also helped me to know there are other parents out there who are experiencing what I am experiencing!

  • Aha! Parenting website- Written by the same author of Peaceful Parent, Happy Kids.

        GREAT articles and support. Basically I am in love with her. :)

        Great articles and support as well. We have subscribed to her program (there is a fee) but she has a blog with great information.

What I will work on doing is write what we learned from each book. Many of our techniques we have used come from these resources.

Again, I hope some of the techniques/resources above will help and I will work on writing the specific techniques from each book that have helped us.

Please share any techniques you use! I am always looking for help and support!

Reader Comments (4)

Awesome article Becky! I love some of those ideas, especially the superhero one! Sometimes it's super easy to get caught up in the negative instead of trying to emphasize the positive. That doesn't mean there aren't consequences and things are always going to be fun.... it just means that you can still teach your children to follow rules and deal with the unpleasant with encouragement.

August 13, 2013 | Unregistered Commenterstephanie T

A friend of mine gave me your blog address and I'm so glad that she did! I could literally cut and paste your first 4 paragraphs into my life. I'm so grateful that you have listed the resources and techniques that are working for you! I'm hopeful that the information will be helpful and the techniques will work with one of my children. Thank you for your post!

August 23, 2013 | Unregistered CommenterKathleen

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August 24, 2018 | Unregistered CommenterSultan Faris

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November 2, 2018 | Unregistered Commenterforce

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